i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
