i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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