dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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