Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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