It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
