Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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