So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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