I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
