Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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