Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
