This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
