shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I love having hate sex.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
