He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize