so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
