You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize