it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
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