some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
