During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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