Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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