ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
