We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
