Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I puked a lego.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
