Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
