please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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