he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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