I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize