the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
