Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
