Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
The ass gains better be worth it
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