Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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