she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
