garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Come see our sink grown plant.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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