Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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