dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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