when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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