that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
