I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
