Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize