It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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