both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
