First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Randomize
