i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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