who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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