I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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