While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
