I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Someone shit on the floor
i love accidental penises.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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