all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
it glows. i had to have it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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