so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
