Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
