omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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