Do vagina's smell?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
