Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
