Are we in a gay sports bar?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
