Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize