How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
