now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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