capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
it was like eating out sand paper
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My bed smells like the plague
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
