I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
