WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
