he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize