I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
